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Farrel +Request for Comments: 8140 Old Dog Consulting +Category: Informational 1 April 2017 +ISSN: 2070-1721 + + + The Arte of ASCII: Or, An True and Accurate Representation of an + Menagerie of Thynges Fabulous and Wonderful in Ye Forme of Character + +Abstract + + Ever since Gutenberg discovered and patented ASCII and the + corresponding "Courier New" font with its now-famous "ten" point + size, artisans and artificers have striven to represent their views + of the world in print. + + Similarly, starting from Darwin's discovery of the hippogriff and his + subsequent registration of the creature as an International Trade + Mark, men (and some women) have struggled to catalog the fabulous + variety that is called "nature". + + This document supplies a number of representations of all manner of + things (both elemental and hypothetical) supplied by some of our best + collectors of curios and delivered in a manner that may well be + reused by the cunning document author. + +Status of This Memo + + This document is not an Internet Standards Track specification; it is + published for informational purposes. + + This is a contribution to the RFC Series, independently of any other + RFC stream. The RFC Editor has chosen to publish this document at + its discretion and makes no statement about its value for + implementation or deployment. Documents approved for publication by + the RFC Editor are not a candidate for any level of Internet + Standard; see Section 2 of RFC 7841. + + Information about the current status of this document, any errata, + and how to provide feedback on it may be obtained at + http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc8140. + + + + + + + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 1] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + +Copyright Notice + + Copyright (c) 2017 IETF Trust and the persons identified as the + document authors. All rights reserved. + + This document is subject to BCP 78 and the IETF Trust's Legal + Provisions Relating to IETF Documents + (http://trustee.ietf.org/license-info) in effect on the date of + publication of this document. Please review these documents + carefully, as they describe your rights and restrictions with respect + to this document. + +Table of Contents + + 1. Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 + 2. Beasts of the Land . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 + 2.1. The Troll . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 + 2.2. The Unicorn Rampant . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 + 3. Creatures of the Deep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 + 3.1. The Loch Ness Monster . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 + 3.2. The Marlynne or Sword Fishe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 + 4. Spirits of the Air . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 + 4.1. Ze Vompyre . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 + 4.2. Avian Carriers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 + 5. Man-Made Structures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 + 5.1. Bauhaus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 + 5.2. The Gingerbread House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 + 6. IANA Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 + 7. Security Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 + 7.1. A Private Key . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 + 7.2. A Security Mechanism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 + 7.3. Backdoors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 + 8. Manageability Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 + 9. Morality Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 + 9.1. Likelihood of Misuse by the Depraved . . . . . . . . . . 14 + 9.2. Likelihood of Misuse by the Misguided . . . . . . . . . . 15 + 9.3. Likelihood of Misuse by Corporations . . . . . . . . . . 15 + 9.4. Oversight Facilities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 + 9.5. Other Ways of Doing Things . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 + 9.6. Concern for Wildlife . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 + 10. References That May Be Informative to Those Who Know How To + Read Them . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 + Acknowledgements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 + Author's Address . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 + + + + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 2] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + +1. Introduction + + Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, where princes were + available to those who knew how to kiss, and frogs could be picked up + by the handful and were sold in brown paper bags at the shop on the + corner of your street, there was an impish discovery made by the + appropriately named Johannes Gensfleisch zur Laden zum Gutenberg. + His name, it turned out, was coincidentally fortuitous for when he + uncovered the Gutenberg Press he was able to claim it as his own. + + Amongst Gutenberg's better known discoveries were the ten point font, + the Courier New Font (which he is supposed to have found growing in a + hedgerow close to his cottage), and the ASCII character set. All of + these have been embraced as comforting and warm blankets by the + engineers of the IETF as they embark on expeditions to plot the + desolated wastes of the Internet. + + Although the RFC Editor has recently dragged the IETF kicking and + screaming into the twentieth century [RFC7990] [RFC7996], there is a + yearning among all right-thinking Internet architects to "keep it + simple" and to return to the olden days when pigs could be given + thrust without anyone taking undue offence [RFC1925]. This document + attempts to address that yearning by demonstrating the full wonder of + the natural world in vivid two-dimensional representation and a + colour palette that would put even the august L. S. Lowry to shame. + + Readers of this document are encouraged to be familiar. + +2. Beasts of the Land + + "Many and wonderful are the beasts of the land" wrote the poet. And + he was right in some ways. + + Of these many beasts, the most fabulous are the Troll and the + Unicorn. Here are reproduced representations of sightings in the + field. + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 3] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + +2.1. The Troll + + The troll is an evil beast that frequently appears around the IETF. + It feeds alternately on passing goats and cookies, but it prefers + above all things the taste of distress, especially that expressed in + email. + + Trolls should be shunned and never fed. Stories about them being + sensitive to water or light are unsubstantiated, but it may be true + that they can be pacified with alcohol. + + The chief weapons of a Troll are its sharp tongue, its blunt + phrasing, and its total disregard for doing useful work. + + .:\::::/:. + +-------------------+ .:\:\::/:/:. + | PLEASE DO NOT | :.:\:\::/:/:.: + | FEED THE TROLLS | :=.` - - '.=: + | | `=(\ 0 0 /)=' + | Thank you, | ( (__) ) + | The Management | .--`-vvvv-'-- + +-------------------+ | | + | | / /( )\ \ + | | / / ( /\ ) \ \ + | | ( | / / \ \ | ) + | | ^^ ( ( ) ) ^^ + | | __\ \ / /__ + | | `(______||______)' + ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ + + Figure 1: The Troll at Feeding Time + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 4] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + +2.2. The Unicorn Rampant + + Many things in the IETF rely on majick. Without pixie dust or other + artful contributions from the world of faerie, it is unlikely that + the Internet would work at all. + + Software Defined Networking (SDN) is a concept whereby complex and + devious networks may be subjugated to the will of a sorcerer (or an + opensourcerer as they are sometimes know). Fundamental to the body + of an SDN is the Path Computation Element (PCE) [RFC7399]. Essential + to the proper function of the PCE is the Unicorn that roams the dark + wood of the Traffic Engineering Database, rearing up and spearing + unwitting paths on the horn of its intellect. + + Unicorns, it is claimed, can only be captured by the pure of heart + who have never operated a real network. + + . + |\ + \\______ + / \ \_ + / O \ \ + / __ \ | + (__/ / \| + / \____ + __-- \__ + --___/ \ ___ + ( ( __---- |-- \ + || ( \___ / /--. \ + -\_\ \___( / / __/ + \_\ \_ \_ | / + _/\__ _) \_\ + / __/ _/ + |__/ _/ + /__\__/ + /__| + + Figure 2: A Unicorn in Rampant State + + + + + + + + + + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 5] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + +3. Creatures of the Deep + + "Not all that crawls upon the land can rival the creatures of the + deep," said the great ethnographer and philanderer. And how often it + has been observed that he was both wise and drunk. + + The things that slide below the surface of the water remain hidden to + most of us, a mystery no less than the ways of the elliptic curve. + Most elusive of all is the Loch Ness Monster; most peculiar is the + Marlynne. + +3.1. The Loch Ness Monster + + So rare are the sightings of this beast that we must count ourselves + lucky to have presented here a very real etching collected at great + expense from a native Scott. + + The Loch Ness Monster appears most often on dark nights or in heavy + storms when the only thing that parts the fog is the rain that lashes + your face. Thus, the creature is most often visible when it can be + least well seen. In this respect, it is most like clear text in an + RFC, which is most easy to read and comprehend when it is least + written. + + . + + + + + + + _______________________________________ + + + + + + + + + . + + Figure 3: The Loch Ness Monster On a Calm Day + + + + + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 6] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + +3.2. The Marlynne or Sword Fishe + + Getting to the point is not always something that is practised in the + IETF. But there is one beast that Roams the Deeps and Never Sleeps: + The Marlynne, when hauled from its roost by an unsuspecting fisherman + for delivery to his equally unsuspecting fishwife has often been + mistaken for a very angry mermaid [MTFTW]. Do not mistake its sharp + wit for a valid argument. + + As can be seen from the rendition here presented, the Marlynne is + happy in its work. + + __ + \ \ + -- __) \_____ + \ \ / \ + \ \./ o \ + / .. __=====--- + / / \ \ + -- ------------ + + Figure 4: The Sword Fishe - An Happy Fishe + +4. Spirits of the Air + + Cloud is the latest buzz for the trendy hipster, active in + networking. But be careful not to let your feet get off the crowd + lest your head become implanted somewhere it shouldn't be. + +4.1. Ze Vompyre + + Most afeared of all of the creatures is surely the vampire, for it + will drain the blood of any good idea until it withers or is + completely changed into a problem statement I-D. More scary than the + dreaded Old Timer that will suck the air from a room with its hated + Process Discussion. More frightening than the RFC 2119 Usage Debate + of Doom. + + The vampire bat is sometimes mistaken for its third cousin on its + mother's side, the fruitbat. That beast is equally evil and will + remove whole plates of fruit from refreshment tables, leaving only + celery sticks for latecomers. + + Data that is once nibbled by a vampire may find that some of its most + precious bits become corrupted and drop off. Sure protection may + only be achieved by placing garlic in the metadata or overhead of a + packet. + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 7] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + + /\ /\ + / \---/ \ + /\ /\ | | /\ /\ + / \ / \ | - - | / \ / \ + / \/ \/ (.) (.) \/ \/ \ + / - - \ + / _ _ _ \ + / ------\ V V /------ \ + / / \ / \ \ + ----- \ / ----- + \ / + \ / + | | + | ^ | + \ / \ / + vvv vvv + + Figure 5: The Cursed Vampire or Fruitbat + + _______________________ + | ___________________ | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | |___________________| | + |_______________________| + ___(_______________________)___ + (_______________________________) + + Figure 6: A Fine Mirror Showing The Reflection of a Vampire Bat + + + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 8] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + +4.2. Avian Carriers + + More famous than the Thrusted Pig [RFC1925] and more celebrated than + the Infinite Monkey [RFC2795] is the Avian Carrier [RFC1149]. + + This scavenger of the sky comes in a variety of bright colors, + perhaps an evolutionary trait enabling a hunter to distinguish the + carriers and drop those it considers weakest, or maybe acting as a + warning to predatory Buphyres so that they do not attack the carriers + deemed most important by the flock. + + _ _ _ _ + \o/ \o/ + /\o/\ /\o/\ + + /\o/\ /\o/\ + + /\o/\ _ _ + \o/ + + + --------- --------- + | | | | | | + --------- | |------ | |--- + | | |---- | |----- | | + | | | | | |--- | | + --------- --------- | |----- + | | | + --------- + + Figure 7: A Flock of Avian Carriers with a Nest of Packets + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 9] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + +5. Man-Made Structures + + "Man has become God and shapes the world at will" said the slightly + disgruntled theologian. And who would dare argue this point that + wanted to escape the conversation in time to get home for dinner? + +5.1. Bauhaus + + When Laura Ingalls Wilder was just starting out on her cover designs, + she agonized about what shade her little house should be. She + narrowly avoided madness thanks to the timely intervention of + Professor Kandinsky, a prominent Moscow lawyer. + + It has often been asserted that new art forms are needed to allow the + inclusion of colors in IETF publications. Figure 8 clearly + demonstrates this to be a fallacy. + + --------- /\ + | | / \ + | | / \ + | Red | / \ + | | / Yellow \ + | | / \ + --------- ------------ + + __----__ + .' `. + / \ + / \ + / \ + | | + | Blue | + | | + \ / + \ / + \ / + `.__ __.' + ---- + + + Figure 8: The Fundaments of Bauhaus + + + + + + + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 10] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + +5.2. The Gingerbread House + + Many stories have been told of how young Hans and his sister, the + equally young Gretha, came to be abandoned in the woods [TFTW]. + However, it may have been Herr Grimm and his eponymous brother, Herr + Grimm, who first recorded the existence of a house made of + gingerbread (with all the trimmings). + + Note that attempts to perform packet tracing using breadcrumbs will + usually fail owing to avian carriers who like to keep the forest + floor tidy (Section 4.2. + + ( ) + ( ) + /^\ () + / \ - + / \| | + / \ | + / \| + / \ + / \ + / \ + /-^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^-\ + | | + | --- --- | + | | | | | | | | + | |-+-| |-+-| | + | | | | | | | | + | --- --- | + |_ | + ) --- | + ) | | | + ) |o | | + ) | | | + |_______ _|...|_| + \ \ + \ \ + \ \ + \ \ + + Figure 9: A Deserted and Partially Nibbled (or Byted) Gingerbread + House + + + + + + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 11] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + +6. IANA Considerations + + IANA might consider introducing a registry for Figure 8 to track the + assignment of colours to shapes. + +7. Security Considerations + + Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage: but they do + help. And with this in mind, our elders encourage us always to be + mindful of the security and privacy of our eternal souls. + +7.1. A Private Key + + Keys that are shared are keys that other people have. If someone + else has a key, they will use it. If you have a key, you will + probably leave it in the lock or drop it in the street. Hence we + conclude that keys are a security vulnerability. + + --- + / _ \ + | / \ | + / / \ \ + | | | ------------------------------------------------- + | | | ------------------------------------ ) + \ \ / / | | + | \_/ | | _ | + \ / | _| | _ | + --- | | | | | | + |_| |_| |_| + + Figure 10: A Security Key + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 12] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + +7.2. A Security Mechanism + + Locks, on the other hand, are good. They can become rusted solid, + meaning that no one can open them. What could be more secure? + + And remember, a smile is the key that fits the lock to everybody's + heart. So don't trust people who smile. + + _____ + / \ + / ___ \ + / / \ \ + | / \ | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + ------------------- + | | + | | + | | + | _ | + | / \ | + | / \ | + | \ / | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | | | | + | - | + | | + ------------------- + + Figure 11: A General Purpose Security Mechanism + + + + + + + + + + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 13] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + +7.3. Backdoors + + If you have a door, you are admitting (sic) a weakness. A closed + door invites opening, and an open door invites ingress. Security + lies in bricks and mortar. + + ____________ + / \ + / __________ \ + / / _/\ \ + | / _/ \ | + | | _/ | | + | | | | | + | | | | | + | | | | | + | | | | | + | | | O | | + | | | . | | + | | | | | + | | | | | + | | | | | + | | | | | + | | | | | + | | |___ | | + | | \____| | + + Figure 12: A Backdoor Left Conveniently Open + +8. Manageability Considerations + + Some of the wild beasts depicted in this tome are best confined to a + managerie. + +9. Morality Considerations + + In accordance with advice offered in [RFC4041], this section + considers the impact of this document on the public morals. + + It is still the view of popular opinion and can be verified by + reliable metrics that moral values are declining and that degeneracy + is on the rise. One has only to look at the apostasy surrounding the + True Use of Language as set forth in RFC 2119 [RFC2119] to know that + the populace has become truly debauched. + +9.1. Likelihood of Misuse by the Depraved + + Care must be taken lest ASCII fall into the hands of disreputable + characters. + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 14] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + +9.2. Likelihood of Misuse by the Misguided + + We should warn our children against engraving self-portraits in + ASCII-art and sharing them with their friends as woodcuts or in other + modern media. Recall that a picture, once made, lasts forever. + +9.3. Likelihood of Misuse by Corporations + + The very idea that someone might patent unicorn DNA is, of course, + unthinkable. Large companies only have our best interests at heart. + +9.4. Oversight Facilities + + Adequate oversight of all things is performed by the RFC Editor. Who + has a higher moral compass or a better sense of directional values? + +9.5. Other Ways of Doing Things + + Radical and subversive cliques, such as that established by the + heretics, Georges Seurat and Paul Signac, may also be represented in + ASCII art. However, doing so will, in almost every case, exceed the + 72 character width limit used by all right-thinking people and must, + therefore, be avoided by all who do not wish to be doomed to spend + eternity in a dark corner with only dial-up access. + +9.6. Concern for Wildlife + + Never was a truer word spoken than when it was said that a duck may + be somebody's mother. See also Section 4.2 + +10. References That May Be Informative to Those Who Know How To + Read Them + + [MTFTW] Farrel, A., "More Tales From The Wood", 2016. + + [RFC1149] Waitzman, D., "Standard for the transmission of IP + datagrams on avian carriers", RFC 1149, + DOI 10.17487/RFC1149, April 1990, + <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc1149>. + + [RFC1925] Callon, R., "The Twelve Networking Truths", RFC 1925, + DOI 10.17487/RFC1925, April 1996, + <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc1925>. + + [RFC2119] Bradner, S., "Key words for use in RFCs to Indicate + Requirement Levels", BCP 14, RFC 2119, + DOI 10.17487/RFC2119, March 1997, + <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc2119>. + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 15] + +RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017 + + + [RFC2795] Christey, S., "The Infinite Monkey Protocol Suite (IMPS)", + RFC 2795, DOI 10.17487/RFC2795, April 2000, + <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc2795>. + + [RFC4041] Farrel, A., "Requirements for Morality Sections in Routing + Area Drafts", RFC 4041, DOI 10.17487/RFC4041, April 2005, + <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc4041>. + + [RFC7399] Farrel, A. and D. King, "Unanswered Questions in the Path + Computation Element Architecture", RFC 7399, + DOI 10.17487/RFC7399, October 2014, + <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc7399>. + + [RFC7990] Flanagan, H., "RFC Format Framework", RFC 7990, + DOI 10.17487/RFC7990, December 2016, + <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc7990>. + + [RFC7996] Brownlee, N., "SVG Drawings for RFCs: SVG 1.2 RFC", + RFC 7996, DOI 10.17487/RFC7996, December 2016, + <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc7996>. + + [TFTW] Farrel, A., "Tales From The Wood", 2015. + +Acknowledgements + + Thanks to Wassily Kandinsky, Martin Luther, and Johannes Gutenberg + for their help with this work. + + L. S. Lowry was not harmed in the production of this document. + + The work in Section 2.1 is based on an original lithograph by John De + Scudder. + + Without the very existence of Madame Flanagan, it would not have been + possible or necessary to compile this volume. + +Author's Address + + Adrian Farrel + Old Dog Consulting + + Email: adrian@olddog.co.uk + + + + + + + + + +Farrel Informational [Page 16] + |