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+Independent Submission A. Farrel
+Request for Comments: 8140 Old Dog Consulting
+Category: Informational 1 April 2017
+ISSN: 2070-1721
+
+
+ The Arte of ASCII: Or, An True and Accurate Representation of an
+ Menagerie of Thynges Fabulous and Wonderful in Ye Forme of Character
+
+Abstract
+
+ Ever since Gutenberg discovered and patented ASCII and the
+ corresponding "Courier New" font with its now-famous "ten" point
+ size, artisans and artificers have striven to represent their views
+ of the world in print.
+
+ Similarly, starting from Darwin's discovery of the hippogriff and his
+ subsequent registration of the creature as an International Trade
+ Mark, men (and some women) have struggled to catalog the fabulous
+ variety that is called "nature".
+
+ This document supplies a number of representations of all manner of
+ things (both elemental and hypothetical) supplied by some of our best
+ collectors of curios and delivered in a manner that may well be
+ reused by the cunning document author.
+
+Status of This Memo
+
+ This document is not an Internet Standards Track specification; it is
+ published for informational purposes.
+
+ This is a contribution to the RFC Series, independently of any other
+ RFC stream. The RFC Editor has chosen to publish this document at
+ its discretion and makes no statement about its value for
+ implementation or deployment. Documents approved for publication by
+ the RFC Editor are not a candidate for any level of Internet
+ Standard; see Section 2 of RFC 7841.
+
+ Information about the current status of this document, any errata,
+ and how to provide feedback on it may be obtained at
+ http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc8140.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 1]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+Copyright Notice
+
+ Copyright (c) 2017 IETF Trust and the persons identified as the
+ document authors. All rights reserved.
+
+ This document is subject to BCP 78 and the IETF Trust's Legal
+ Provisions Relating to IETF Documents
+ (http://trustee.ietf.org/license-info) in effect on the date of
+ publication of this document. Please review these documents
+ carefully, as they describe your rights and restrictions with respect
+ to this document.
+
+Table of Contents
+
+ 1. Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
+ 2. Beasts of the Land . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
+ 2.1. The Troll . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
+ 2.2. The Unicorn Rampant . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
+ 3. Creatures of the Deep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
+ 3.1. The Loch Ness Monster . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
+ 3.2. The Marlynne or Sword Fishe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
+ 4. Spirits of the Air . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
+ 4.1. Ze Vompyre . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
+ 4.2. Avian Carriers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
+ 5. Man-Made Structures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
+ 5.1. Bauhaus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
+ 5.2. The Gingerbread House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
+ 6. IANA Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
+ 7. Security Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
+ 7.1. A Private Key . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
+ 7.2. A Security Mechanism . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
+ 7.3. Backdoors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
+ 8. Manageability Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
+ 9. Morality Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
+ 9.1. Likelihood of Misuse by the Depraved . . . . . . . . . . 14
+ 9.2. Likelihood of Misuse by the Misguided . . . . . . . . . . 15
+ 9.3. Likelihood of Misuse by Corporations . . . . . . . . . . 15
+ 9.4. Oversight Facilities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
+ 9.5. Other Ways of Doing Things . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
+ 9.6. Concern for Wildlife . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
+ 10. References That May Be Informative to Those Who Know How To
+ Read Them . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15
+ Acknowledgements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
+ Author's Address . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 2]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+1. Introduction
+
+ Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, where princes were
+ available to those who knew how to kiss, and frogs could be picked up
+ by the handful and were sold in brown paper bags at the shop on the
+ corner of your street, there was an impish discovery made by the
+ appropriately named Johannes Gensfleisch zur Laden zum Gutenberg.
+ His name, it turned out, was coincidentally fortuitous for when he
+ uncovered the Gutenberg Press he was able to claim it as his own.
+
+ Amongst Gutenberg's better known discoveries were the ten point font,
+ the Courier New Font (which he is supposed to have found growing in a
+ hedgerow close to his cottage), and the ASCII character set. All of
+ these have been embraced as comforting and warm blankets by the
+ engineers of the IETF as they embark on expeditions to plot the
+ desolated wastes of the Internet.
+
+ Although the RFC Editor has recently dragged the IETF kicking and
+ screaming into the twentieth century [RFC7990] [RFC7996], there is a
+ yearning among all right-thinking Internet architects to "keep it
+ simple" and to return to the olden days when pigs could be given
+ thrust without anyone taking undue offence [RFC1925]. This document
+ attempts to address that yearning by demonstrating the full wonder of
+ the natural world in vivid two-dimensional representation and a
+ colour palette that would put even the august L. S. Lowry to shame.
+
+ Readers of this document are encouraged to be familiar.
+
+2. Beasts of the Land
+
+ "Many and wonderful are the beasts of the land" wrote the poet. And
+ he was right in some ways.
+
+ Of these many beasts, the most fabulous are the Troll and the
+ Unicorn. Here are reproduced representations of sightings in the
+ field.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 3]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+2.1. The Troll
+
+ The troll is an evil beast that frequently appears around the IETF.
+ It feeds alternately on passing goats and cookies, but it prefers
+ above all things the taste of distress, especially that expressed in
+ email.
+
+ Trolls should be shunned and never fed. Stories about them being
+ sensitive to water or light are unsubstantiated, but it may be true
+ that they can be pacified with alcohol.
+
+ The chief weapons of a Troll are its sharp tongue, its blunt
+ phrasing, and its total disregard for doing useful work.
+
+ .:\::::/:.
+ +-------------------+ .:\:\::/:/:.
+ | PLEASE DO NOT | :.:\:\::/:/:.:
+ | FEED THE TROLLS | :=.` - - '.=:
+ | | `=(\ 0 0 /)='
+ | Thank you, | ( (__) )
+ | The Management | .--`-vvvv-'--
+ +-------------------+ | |
+ | | / /( )\ \
+ | | / / ( /\ ) \ \
+ | | ( | / / \ \ | )
+ | | ^^ ( ( ) ) ^^
+ | | __\ \ / /__
+ | | `(______||______)'
+ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
+
+ Figure 1: The Troll at Feeding Time
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 4]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+2.2. The Unicorn Rampant
+
+ Many things in the IETF rely on majick. Without pixie dust or other
+ artful contributions from the world of faerie, it is unlikely that
+ the Internet would work at all.
+
+ Software Defined Networking (SDN) is a concept whereby complex and
+ devious networks may be subjugated to the will of a sorcerer (or an
+ opensourcerer as they are sometimes know). Fundamental to the body
+ of an SDN is the Path Computation Element (PCE) [RFC7399]. Essential
+ to the proper function of the PCE is the Unicorn that roams the dark
+ wood of the Traffic Engineering Database, rearing up and spearing
+ unwitting paths on the horn of its intellect.
+
+ Unicorns, it is claimed, can only be captured by the pure of heart
+ who have never operated a real network.
+
+ .
+ |\
+ \\______
+ / \ \_
+ / O \ \
+ / __ \ |
+ (__/ / \|
+ / \____
+ __-- \__
+ --___/ \ ___
+ ( ( __---- |-- \
+ || ( \___ / /--. \
+ -\_\ \___( / / __/
+ \_\ \_ \_ | /
+ _/\__ _) \_\
+ / __/ _/
+ |__/ _/
+ /__\__/
+ /__|
+
+ Figure 2: A Unicorn in Rampant State
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 5]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+3. Creatures of the Deep
+
+ "Not all that crawls upon the land can rival the creatures of the
+ deep," said the great ethnographer and philanderer. And how often it
+ has been observed that he was both wise and drunk.
+
+ The things that slide below the surface of the water remain hidden to
+ most of us, a mystery no less than the ways of the elliptic curve.
+ Most elusive of all is the Loch Ness Monster; most peculiar is the
+ Marlynne.
+
+3.1. The Loch Ness Monster
+
+ So rare are the sightings of this beast that we must count ourselves
+ lucky to have presented here a very real etching collected at great
+ expense from a native Scott.
+
+ The Loch Ness Monster appears most often on dark nights or in heavy
+ storms when the only thing that parts the fog is the rain that lashes
+ your face. Thus, the creature is most often visible when it can be
+ least well seen. In this respect, it is most like clear text in an
+ RFC, which is most easy to read and comprehend when it is least
+ written.
+
+ .
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ _______________________________________
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+ .
+
+ Figure 3: The Loch Ness Monster On a Calm Day
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 6]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+3.2. The Marlynne or Sword Fishe
+
+ Getting to the point is not always something that is practised in the
+ IETF. But there is one beast that Roams the Deeps and Never Sleeps:
+ The Marlynne, when hauled from its roost by an unsuspecting fisherman
+ for delivery to his equally unsuspecting fishwife has often been
+ mistaken for a very angry mermaid [MTFTW]. Do not mistake its sharp
+ wit for a valid argument.
+
+ As can be seen from the rendition here presented, the Marlynne is
+ happy in its work.
+
+ __
+ \ \
+ -- __) \_____
+ \ \ / \
+ \ \./ o \
+ / .. __=====---
+ / / \ \
+ -- ------------
+
+ Figure 4: The Sword Fishe - An Happy Fishe
+
+4. Spirits of the Air
+
+ Cloud is the latest buzz for the trendy hipster, active in
+ networking. But be careful not to let your feet get off the crowd
+ lest your head become implanted somewhere it shouldn't be.
+
+4.1. Ze Vompyre
+
+ Most afeared of all of the creatures is surely the vampire, for it
+ will drain the blood of any good idea until it withers or is
+ completely changed into a problem statement I-D. More scary than the
+ dreaded Old Timer that will suck the air from a room with its hated
+ Process Discussion. More frightening than the RFC 2119 Usage Debate
+ of Doom.
+
+ The vampire bat is sometimes mistaken for its third cousin on its
+ mother's side, the fruitbat. That beast is equally evil and will
+ remove whole plates of fruit from refreshment tables, leaving only
+ celery sticks for latecomers.
+
+ Data that is once nibbled by a vampire may find that some of its most
+ precious bits become corrupted and drop off. Sure protection may
+ only be achieved by placing garlic in the metadata or overhead of a
+ packet.
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 7]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+ /\ /\
+ / \---/ \
+ /\ /\ | | /\ /\
+ / \ / \ | - - | / \ / \
+ / \/ \/ (.) (.) \/ \/ \
+ / - - \
+ / _ _ _ \
+ / ------\ V V /------ \
+ / / \ / \ \
+ ----- \ / -----
+ \ /
+ \ /
+ | |
+ | ^ |
+ \ / \ /
+ vvv vvv
+
+ Figure 5: The Cursed Vampire or Fruitbat
+
+ _______________________
+ | ___________________ |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | |___________________| |
+ |_______________________|
+ ___(_______________________)___
+ (_______________________________)
+
+ Figure 6: A Fine Mirror Showing The Reflection of a Vampire Bat
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 8]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+4.2. Avian Carriers
+
+ More famous than the Thrusted Pig [RFC1925] and more celebrated than
+ the Infinite Monkey [RFC2795] is the Avian Carrier [RFC1149].
+
+ This scavenger of the sky comes in a variety of bright colors,
+ perhaps an evolutionary trait enabling a hunter to distinguish the
+ carriers and drop those it considers weakest, or maybe acting as a
+ warning to predatory Buphyres so that they do not attack the carriers
+ deemed most important by the flock.
+
+ _ _ _ _
+ \o/ \o/
+ /\o/\ /\o/\
+
+ /\o/\ /\o/\
+
+ /\o/\ _ _
+ \o/
+
+
+ --------- ---------
+ | | | | | |
+ --------- | |------ | |---
+ | | |---- | |----- | |
+ | | | | | |--- | |
+ --------- --------- | |-----
+ | | |
+ ---------
+
+ Figure 7: A Flock of Avian Carriers with a Nest of Packets
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 9]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+5. Man-Made Structures
+
+ "Man has become God and shapes the world at will" said the slightly
+ disgruntled theologian. And who would dare argue this point that
+ wanted to escape the conversation in time to get home for dinner?
+
+5.1. Bauhaus
+
+ When Laura Ingalls Wilder was just starting out on her cover designs,
+ she agonized about what shade her little house should be. She
+ narrowly avoided madness thanks to the timely intervention of
+ Professor Kandinsky, a prominent Moscow lawyer.
+
+ It has often been asserted that new art forms are needed to allow the
+ inclusion of colors in IETF publications. Figure 8 clearly
+ demonstrates this to be a fallacy.
+
+ --------- /\
+ | | / \
+ | | / \
+ | Red | / \
+ | | / Yellow \
+ | | / \
+ --------- ------------
+
+ __----__
+ .' `.
+ / \
+ / \
+ / \
+ | |
+ | Blue |
+ | |
+ \ /
+ \ /
+ \ /
+ `.__ __.'
+ ----
+
+
+ Figure 8: The Fundaments of Bauhaus
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 10]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+5.2. The Gingerbread House
+
+ Many stories have been told of how young Hans and his sister, the
+ equally young Gretha, came to be abandoned in the woods [TFTW].
+ However, it may have been Herr Grimm and his eponymous brother, Herr
+ Grimm, who first recorded the existence of a house made of
+ gingerbread (with all the trimmings).
+
+ Note that attempts to perform packet tracing using breadcrumbs will
+ usually fail owing to avian carriers who like to keep the forest
+ floor tidy (Section 4.2.
+
+ ( )
+ ( )
+ /^\ ()
+ / \ -
+ / \| |
+ / \ |
+ / \|
+ / \
+ / \
+ / \
+ /-^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^-\
+ | |
+ | --- --- |
+ | | | | | | | |
+ | |-+-| |-+-| |
+ | | | | | | | |
+ | --- --- |
+ |_ |
+ ) --- |
+ ) | | |
+ ) |o | |
+ ) | | |
+ |_______ _|...|_|
+ \ \
+ \ \
+ \ \
+ \ \
+
+ Figure 9: A Deserted and Partially Nibbled (or Byted) Gingerbread
+ House
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 11]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+6. IANA Considerations
+
+ IANA might consider introducing a registry for Figure 8 to track the
+ assignment of colours to shapes.
+
+7. Security Considerations
+
+ Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage: but they do
+ help. And with this in mind, our elders encourage us always to be
+ mindful of the security and privacy of our eternal souls.
+
+7.1. A Private Key
+
+ Keys that are shared are keys that other people have. If someone
+ else has a key, they will use it. If you have a key, you will
+ probably leave it in the lock or drop it in the street. Hence we
+ conclude that keys are a security vulnerability.
+
+ ---
+ / _ \
+ | / \ |
+ / / \ \
+ | | | -------------------------------------------------
+ | | | ------------------------------------ )
+ \ \ / / | |
+ | \_/ | | _ |
+ \ / | _| | _ |
+ --- | | | | | |
+ |_| |_| |_|
+
+ Figure 10: A Security Key
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 12]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+7.2. A Security Mechanism
+
+ Locks, on the other hand, are good. They can become rusted solid,
+ meaning that no one can open them. What could be more secure?
+
+ And remember, a smile is the key that fits the lock to everybody's
+ heart. So don't trust people who smile.
+
+ _____
+ / \
+ / ___ \
+ / / \ \
+ | / \ |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ -------------------
+ | |
+ | |
+ | |
+ | _ |
+ | / \ |
+ | / \ |
+ | \ / |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | | | |
+ | - |
+ | |
+ -------------------
+
+ Figure 11: A General Purpose Security Mechanism
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 13]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+7.3. Backdoors
+
+ If you have a door, you are admitting (sic) a weakness. A closed
+ door invites opening, and an open door invites ingress. Security
+ lies in bricks and mortar.
+
+ ____________
+ / \
+ / __________ \
+ / / _/\ \
+ | / _/ \ |
+ | | _/ | |
+ | | | | |
+ | | | | |
+ | | | | |
+ | | | | |
+ | | | O | |
+ | | | . | |
+ | | | | |
+ | | | | |
+ | | | | |
+ | | | | |
+ | | | | |
+ | | |___ | |
+ | | \____| |
+
+ Figure 12: A Backdoor Left Conveniently Open
+
+8. Manageability Considerations
+
+ Some of the wild beasts depicted in this tome are best confined to a
+ managerie.
+
+9. Morality Considerations
+
+ In accordance with advice offered in [RFC4041], this section
+ considers the impact of this document on the public morals.
+
+ It is still the view of popular opinion and can be verified by
+ reliable metrics that moral values are declining and that degeneracy
+ is on the rise. One has only to look at the apostasy surrounding the
+ True Use of Language as set forth in RFC 2119 [RFC2119] to know that
+ the populace has become truly debauched.
+
+9.1. Likelihood of Misuse by the Depraved
+
+ Care must be taken lest ASCII fall into the hands of disreputable
+ characters.
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 14]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+9.2. Likelihood of Misuse by the Misguided
+
+ We should warn our children against engraving self-portraits in
+ ASCII-art and sharing them with their friends as woodcuts or in other
+ modern media. Recall that a picture, once made, lasts forever.
+
+9.3. Likelihood of Misuse by Corporations
+
+ The very idea that someone might patent unicorn DNA is, of course,
+ unthinkable. Large companies only have our best interests at heart.
+
+9.4. Oversight Facilities
+
+ Adequate oversight of all things is performed by the RFC Editor. Who
+ has a higher moral compass or a better sense of directional values?
+
+9.5. Other Ways of Doing Things
+
+ Radical and subversive cliques, such as that established by the
+ heretics, Georges Seurat and Paul Signac, may also be represented in
+ ASCII art. However, doing so will, in almost every case, exceed the
+ 72 character width limit used by all right-thinking people and must,
+ therefore, be avoided by all who do not wish to be doomed to spend
+ eternity in a dark corner with only dial-up access.
+
+9.6. Concern for Wildlife
+
+ Never was a truer word spoken than when it was said that a duck may
+ be somebody's mother. See also Section 4.2
+
+10. References That May Be Informative to Those Who Know How To
+ Read Them
+
+ [MTFTW] Farrel, A., "More Tales From The Wood", 2016.
+
+ [RFC1149] Waitzman, D., "Standard for the transmission of IP
+ datagrams on avian carriers", RFC 1149,
+ DOI 10.17487/RFC1149, April 1990,
+ <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc1149>.
+
+ [RFC1925] Callon, R., "The Twelve Networking Truths", RFC 1925,
+ DOI 10.17487/RFC1925, April 1996,
+ <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc1925>.
+
+ [RFC2119] Bradner, S., "Key words for use in RFCs to Indicate
+ Requirement Levels", BCP 14, RFC 2119,
+ DOI 10.17487/RFC2119, March 1997,
+ <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc2119>.
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 15]
+
+RFC 8140 ASCII Art 1 April 2017
+
+
+ [RFC2795] Christey, S., "The Infinite Monkey Protocol Suite (IMPS)",
+ RFC 2795, DOI 10.17487/RFC2795, April 2000,
+ <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc2795>.
+
+ [RFC4041] Farrel, A., "Requirements for Morality Sections in Routing
+ Area Drafts", RFC 4041, DOI 10.17487/RFC4041, April 2005,
+ <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc4041>.
+
+ [RFC7399] Farrel, A. and D. King, "Unanswered Questions in the Path
+ Computation Element Architecture", RFC 7399,
+ DOI 10.17487/RFC7399, October 2014,
+ <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc7399>.
+
+ [RFC7990] Flanagan, H., "RFC Format Framework", RFC 7990,
+ DOI 10.17487/RFC7990, December 2016,
+ <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc7990>.
+
+ [RFC7996] Brownlee, N., "SVG Drawings for RFCs: SVG 1.2 RFC",
+ RFC 7996, DOI 10.17487/RFC7996, December 2016,
+ <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc7996>.
+
+ [TFTW] Farrel, A., "Tales From The Wood", 2015.
+
+Acknowledgements
+
+ Thanks to Wassily Kandinsky, Martin Luther, and Johannes Gutenberg
+ for their help with this work.
+
+ L. S. Lowry was not harmed in the production of this document.
+
+ The work in Section 2.1 is based on an original lithograph by John De
+ Scudder.
+
+ Without the very existence of Madame Flanagan, it would not have been
+ possible or necessary to compile this volume.
+
+Author's Address
+
+ Adrian Farrel
+ Old Dog Consulting
+
+ Email: adrian@olddog.co.uk
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Farrel Informational [Page 16]
+