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diff --git a/doc/rfc/rfc1882.txt b/doc/rfc/rfc1882.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..715598f --- /dev/null +++ b/doc/rfc/rfc1882.txt @@ -0,0 +1,283 @@ + + + + + + +Network Working Group B. Hancock +Request for Comments: 1882 Network-1 Software and Technology, Inc. +Category: Informational December 1995 + + + The 12-Days of Technology Before Christmas + +Status of this Memo + + This memo provides information for the Internet community. This memo + does not specify an Internet standard of any kind. Distribution of + this memo is unlimited. + +Discussion + + On the first day of Christmas, technology gave to me: + A database with a broken b-tree (what the hell is a b-tree + anyway?) + + On the second day of Christmas, technology gave to me: + Two transceiver failures (CRC errors? Collisions? What is + going on?) + And a database with a broken b-tree (Rebuild WHAT? It's a + 10GB database!) + + On the third day of Christmas, technology gave to me: + Three French users (who, of course, think they know + everything) + Two transceiver failures (which are now spewing packets all + over the net) + And a database with a broken b-tree (Backup? What backup?) + + On the fourth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: + Four calls for support (playing the same Christmas song over + and over) + Three French users (Why do they like to argue so much over + trivial things?) + Two transceiver failures (How the hell do I know which ones + they are?) + And a database with a broken b-tree (Pointer error? What's a + pointer error?) + + + + + + + + + + +Hancock Informational [Page 1] + +RFC 1882 12-Days of Technology Before Christmas December 1995 + + + On the fifth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: + Five golden SCSI contacts (Of course they're better than + silver!) + Four support calls (Ever notice how time stands still when on + hold? + Three French users (No, we don't have footpedals on PC's. Why + do you ask?) + Two transceiver failures (If I knew which ones were bad, I + would know which ones to fix!) + And a database with a broken b-tree (Not till next week? Are + you nuts?!?!) + + On the sixth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: + Six games a-playing (On the production network, of course!) + Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean "not terminated!") + Four support calls (No, don't transfer me again - do you HEAR? + Damn!) + Three French users (No, you cannot scan in by putting the page + to the screen...) + Two transceiver failures (I can't look at the LEDs - they're + in the ceiling!) + And a database with a broken b-tree (Norway? That's where this + was written?) + + On the seventh day of Christmas, technology gave to me: + Seven license failures (Expired? When?) + Six games a-playing (Please stop tying up the PBX to talk to + each other!) + Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean I need "wide" + SCSI?) + Four support calls (At least the Muzak is different this + time...) + Three French Users (Well, monsieur, there really isn't an + "any" key, but...) + Two transceiver failures (SQE? What is that? If I knew I would + set it myself!) + And a database with a broken b-tree (No, I really need to talk + to Lars - NOW!) + + + + + + + + + + + + + +Hancock Informational [Page 2] + +RFC 1882 12-Days of Technology Before Christmas December 1995 + + + On the eighth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: + Eight MODEMs dialing (Who bought these? They're a security + violation!) + Seven license failures (How many WEEKS to get a license?) + Six games a-playing (What do you mean one pixel per packet on + updates?!?) + Five golden SCSI contacts (Fast SCSI? It's supposed to be + fast, isn't it?) + Four support calls (I already told them that! Don't transfer + me back - DAMN!) + Three French users (No, CTL-ALT-DEL is not the proper way to + end a program) + Two transceiver failures (What do you mean "babbling + transceiver"?) + And a database with a broken b-tree (Does anyone speak English + in Oslo?) + + On the ninth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: + Nine lady executives with attitude (She said do WHAT with the + servers?) + Eight MODEMs dialing (You've been downloading WHAT?) + Seven license failures (We sent the P.O. two months ago!) + Six games a-playing (HOW many people are doing this to the + network?) + Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean two have the same + ID?) + Four support calls (No, I am not at the console - I tried that + already.) + Three French users (No, only one floppy fits at a time? Why do + you ask?) + Two transceiver failures (Spare? What spare?) + And a database with a broken b-tree (No, I am trying to find + Lars! L-A-R-S!) + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +Hancock Informational [Page 3] + +RFC 1882 12-Days of Technology Before Christmas December 1995 + + + On the tenth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: + Ten SNMP alerts flashing (What is that Godawful beeping?) + Nine lady executives with attitude (No, it used to be a mens + room? Why?) + Eight MODEMs dialing (What Internet provider? We don't allow + Internet here!) + Seven license failures (SPA? Why are they calling us?) + Six games a-playing (No, you don't need a graphics accelerator + for Lotus! ) + Five golden SCSI contacts (You mean I need ANOTHER cable?) + Four support calls (No, I never needed an account number + before...) + Three French users (When the PC sounds like a cat, it's a head + crash!) + Two transceiver failures (Power connection? What power + connection?) + And a database with a broken b-tree (Restore what index + pointers?) + + On the eleventh day of Christmas, technology gave to me: + Eleven boards a-frying (What is that terrible smell?) + Ten SNMP alerts flashing (What's a MIB, anyway? What's an + extension?) + Nine lady executives with attitude (Mauve? Our computer room + tiles in mauve?) + Eight MODEMs dialing (What do you mean you let your roommate + dial-in?) + Seven license failures (How many other illegal copies do we + have?!?!) + Six games a-playing (I told you - AFTER HOURS!) + Five golden SCSI contacts (If I knew what was wrong, I + wouldn't be calling!) + Four support calls (Put me on hold again and I will slash your + credit rating!) + Three French users (Don't hang your floppies with a magnet + again!) + Two transceiver failures (How should I know if the connector + is bad?) + And a database with a broken b-tree (I already did all of + that!) + + + + + + + + + + + +Hancock Informational [Page 4] + +RFC 1882 12-Days of Technology Before Christmas December 1995 + + + On the twelfth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: + Twelve virtual pipe connections (There's only supposed to be + two!) + Eleven boards a-frying (What a surge suppressor supposed to + do, anyway?) + Ten SNMP alerts flashing (From a distance, it does kinda look + like XMas lights.) + Nine lady executives with attitude (What do you mean aerobics + before backups?) + Eight MODEMs dialing (No, we never use them to connect during + business hours.) + Seven license failures (We're all going to jail, I just know + it.) + Six games a-playing (No, no - my turn, my turn!) + Five golden SCSI contacts (Great, just great! Now it won't + even boot!) + Four support calls (I don't have that package! How did I end + up with you!) + Three French users (I don't care if it is sexy, no more nude + screen backgrounds!) + Two transceiver failures (Maybe we should switch to token + ring...) + And a database with a broken b-tree (No, operator - Oslo, + Norway. We were just talking and were cut off...) + +Security Considerations + + Security issues are not discussed in this memo. + +Author's Address + + Bill Hancock, Ph.D. + Network-1 Software & Technology, Inc. + DFW Research Center + 878 Greenview Dr. + Grand Prairie, TX 75050 + + EMail: hancock@network-1.com + Phone: (214) 606-8200 + Fax: (214) 606-8220 + + + + + + + + + + + +Hancock Informational [Page 5] + |